I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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