Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
