Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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