oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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