I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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