dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
