This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
