he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
