i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
