WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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