I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
