you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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