I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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