forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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