Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
