apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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