So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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