Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
