dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
