SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
pop tarts are not kleenex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize