how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
