I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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