You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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