So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
