I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
