Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm too high and old for this...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
