I feel great
I just peed on a car
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
