moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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