well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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