Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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