id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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