i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
