I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I will pee on everything he values.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
