are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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