After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
