is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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