Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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