that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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