I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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