we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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