Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
