I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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