and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
