birth control should be required to get into college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
