But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
