I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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