I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
