ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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