I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
