guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My bed smells like the plague
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
