I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
