it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
