College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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