I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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