there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I want to be your penis for a week.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize