I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
