Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
