Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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