My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
