Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
