You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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