Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
