I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
