You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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