We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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