"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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