so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize